THE CHURCH POST-PANDEMIC

In my ministry of supervising such people I listen to the concerns brought by a varied group of men and women, from mostly Anglican and Roman Catholic backgrounds, accompanying clergy and lay-people in their journey with Christ. Without breaking the confidentiality of such groups, one of the pressing and fundamental matters emerging from some directees at present is the way their churches are not engaged in any process of reflection on what the pandemic has revealed – how it affected people's relationship with God and the positives and negatives involved – there are even, it appears, a few churches against such an activity.

It’s clear that some lay people have been exposed to a variety of forms of online Christian gatherings for almost 18 months (often not with their own parishes) and have profound questions as churches re-open. This is especially true for those who have discovered new ways of being fed and nurtured by what they’ve experienced online which can have given them fresh insights into their relationship with God through prayer groups encountered, sermons heard, or different forms of worship in which they've shared.

As a consequence, it appears that a number don't want to go back to church; that in light of their experience during lockdown, what 'going to church' offered pre-pandemic no longer satisfies. Whilst, clearly, this doesn’t apply to all I wonder how many churches are engaging in any organised reflection on the experience of the pandemic? A reflection that would enable people to talk about how it affected their faith-journey and asking what God might be telling us through the pandemic; what there is to learn and how we might now grow.

I wonder how many are engaged in this process or might consider such a possibility?

PRIESTHOOD AND SPIRITUAL DIRECTION

FROM TIME TO TIME I am aware that questions are raised about the advisability of clergy offering Spiritual Direction.  Like many priest-directors, whilst recommending such a ministry to my parishioners, I made it a rule of thumb never to offer myself in that role: as Sr. Madeleine de Saint-Joseph wrote to ‘A Cleric’ (Berulle and the French School):

‘First, then, I tell you this, sir, about the direction of souls.  It is very dangerous to meddle in it.  One  must be constrained and called to it by God …’ (p.208)

Her observation points out that which it is natural to want to help another, such help – especially when concerned with matters of the Spirit – needs to be approached with humility and a willingness to not only recognise we’re all ‘sinners on the way’, but that we all need to be learners in the kingdom.   

My own experience of offering direction began as a lay Franciscan (Society of St. Francis), but it took me some time to recognise that there’s as much difference between offering a listening ear, reflective advice and spiritual direction, as there is between offering to nurse someone when they are ill and being a nurse.  For that reason, I sought training on the Ignatian Spirituality Course, during which I was invited to assist in the formation of spiritual directors, something that lasted for over 12 years. 

In their important book, The Practice of Spiritual Direction, Fr’s Barry and Connelly SJ define Christian spiritual direction as: ‘… help given by one Christian to another which enables that person to pay attention to God’s personal communication to him or her, to respond to this personally communicating God, to grow in intimacy with this God, and to live out the consequences of that relationship’.  Another Jesuit, James Keegan, said it is ‘the contemplative practice of helping another person or group to awaken to the mystery called God in all of life, and to respond to that discovery in a growing relationship of freedom and commitment.’  Do all clergy have that contemplative call?  Does it come automatically through the grace given in Ordination?  Or is it, surely, a separate, distinctive charism, not limited to ordination?

“Priests may have that gift but that gift needs to be developed, like any talent we have.  Somebody could be a born athlete but they would still have to practice and become good at the sport that they play, and its like that with the priesthood as well.” (Fr. Greg Cleveland, Obl. BVM)

Whilst it’s true that clergy need to help parishioners deepen their relationship with God, there are dangers and pitfalls in so doing.  It’s one thing to be asked to preach and another to be a preacher – unfortunately there are many who don’t really have that calling or would benefit from proper training.  Just so with spiritual direction.  Many of us who are deeply involved in the ministry realise that, if you’re going to offer the ministry of Spiritual Direction, you need a calling to do so and the humility to know you need some formation – it doesn’t come as part of the grace of ordination, any more than does the ability to be an effective preacher or teacher.  

Nor is the ministry to be confused with the Sacrament of Confession (Reconciliation). In the latter, penitence is required, and the seal is inviolate as the penitent calls to mind their sins. That is not the case with spiritual direction; it may be that the directee might be advised to taker a matter top confession and a penitent to explore a matter in Direction for both have their proper ambit.

Over the years I’ve had to acknowledge that some people should not be offering this ministry, and I know some bishops who are deeply concerned with the way many directors are not supervised in what they do: their naïve approach can be a danger to others.  Much sensitivity is involved in dealing with another’s soul, for the place where we stand is holy ground.  Whoever is prepared to offer this ministry needs to realise the primary importance of their own conversatio morum though their ongoing, deepening relationship with God. 

In all the time I’ve given direction, taught its arts and supervised many, I’ve come to recognise that there is much we need to come to terms with, not least the –

              •  urge to be too directive;

              •  temptation to want to ‘rescue’ people or to focus into ‘problem solving’;

              •  need for a broad understanding of the Christian spiritual tradition;

              •  need to trust in the ‘slow work of God’ in a directee’s life;

              •  importance of insights from other therapeutic disciplines, especially in the areas of             transference, counter-transference and projection and the dangers of rejecting these insights;

              •  legal issues surrounding the ministry (aspects of confidentiality, safeguarding etc…);

              •  importance of knowing how to listen contemplatively, and the danger of not properly listening;

              •  temptation to ‘go it alone’ and think we don’t need help (supervision).

             

The dynamic between priest and parishioner can be quite complex.  Unlike the boundaried relationship between confessor and penitent, or director and directee, this relationship can complicate matters further.  Spiritual Direction requires both involved to feel they are free to bring to the relationship what needs addressing and there needs to be a certain distance between them.

But the proximity between priest and parishioner in weekly services, meetings etc. leave both vulnerable to becoming inappropriately close in many ways, which can be a problem where, consciously or not, levels of attraction begin to emerge, issues of confidentiality are involved or any of the host of personality issues occurring in parishes begin to impinge.  It’s for all these reasons, not least the many psycho-spiritual dynamics involved, it’s held that clergy ought not to direct members of their congregations.

SPIRITUAL DIRECTION AND CLERICAL MINISTRY - some reflections

From time to time the suggestion is made that clergy should not only encourage members of their congregations to seek a spiritual director but offer themselves in that role.  As someone said: ‘There is no magic, no expertise, just sister and brother sinners on the Way.'  However, there is a long tradition that clergy should not act as director to parishioners: as Madeleine de Saint-Joseph wrote to ‘A Cleric’:

‘First, then, I tell you this, sir, about the direction of souls.  It is very dangerous to meddle in it.  One must be constrained and called to it by God …’ ¹

Whilst it’s true that clergy need to help parishioners deepen their relationship with God, there are dangers and pitfalls in directing them.  It’s one thing to be asked to preach and another to be a preacher – most benefit from proper training, and a few are simply not gifted in that way.  Just so with Spiritual Direction.  To offer that ministry requires a certain calling and the humility to seek some formation – it doesn’t come as part of the grace of ordination, any more than does the ability to be an effective preacher or teacher.  It’s also clear that some should not be offering this ministry, and several bishops are rightly concerned when they learn of directors who are not supervised in what they do.  

This ministry needs approaching with great sensitivity, for one is involved in dealing with another’s soul: the place where we stand is holy ground.  Whoever is prepared to offer this ministry needs to realise the primary importance of their own conversatio morum though their ongoing, deepening relationship with God.  Whoever offers direction must come to terms with the:

•  temptation to want to ‘rescue’ people or to focus into ‘problem solving’;

•  urge to be too directive;

•  need for a broad understanding of the Christian spiritual tradition;

•  need to trust in the ‘slow work of God’ in a directee’s life;

•  importance of insights from other therapeutic disciplines, especially in the areas of transference, counter-transference and projection and the dangers of rejecting these insights;

•  legal issues surrounding the ministry (aspects of confidentiality, safeguarding etc…);

•  importance of knowing how to listen contemplatively, and the danger of not properly listening;

•  temptation to ‘go it alone’ and think we don’t need help (supervision).

             

The dynamic between priest and parishioner can be complex – unlike the boundaried relationship between confessor and penitent, this relationship can confuse matters.  Spiritual Direction requires both to feel they are free to bring to the relationship what needs addressing, and there needs to be a certain distance between director and directee.  But the proximity between priest and parishioner in weekly services etc. leave both vulnerable to becoming inappropriately close in a variety of ways, and this can be a problem where, consciously or not, levels of attraction begin to emerge.  

For all these reasons, not least the many psycho-spiritual dynamics involved, it’s held that clergy ought not to direct members of their congregations.

             __________________________________

 ¹  William M. Thomson, ed, Berulle and the French School, The Classics of Western Spirituality, Paulist Press, 1989, p.208

SPIRITUAL DIRECTION AND SUPERVISION OF THOSE IN MINISTRY

INTRODUCTION

Anyone working in ordained ministry is involved in processes which concern the whole of their being as it encounters that which lies outside of the Self.  Our personal history, faith journey, psychological make-up and personality type all impinge on who we are and who we are becoming.  These, together with the cultural, religious and environmental worlds we inhabit have a deep bearing on us and can blind us to the fact that – we are not the role we inhabit, whatever that may be – husband, mother, doctor, teacher, artist: clergy, in particular.  All need to be aware of the impact of the role they inhabit and the effect this has on who they are.  It is easy for a clergy-person to view who they are through the lens of their role, something that David Brenner observes when he writes:

‘There is one major form of self-organisation that … serves as a potential transitional place between the body-centred self and the mind-centred self.  We see this in those whose identity and consciousness are centred on what they do (vocationally) or can do (by virtue of talent, training or role) e.g. Mother, physician, poet or comic.  …  The centre of consciousness is still the body because our roles, at least initially, are still body based.  But movement from the public or material self to the role self involves broadening the perspective we take on the world and ourselves.

…  The question now is “How am I doing in my role?”  But … I am now my role.  … No longer am I simply meeting the expectations of others.  T is now a question of how I am doing in being myself, in being my role … how I am doing in a role that is “me”. (David G. Benner: Spirituality and the Awakening of Self by. p.97. Brazos Press. 2012. This forms part of his reflection on developmental stages of ‘Human Becoming’ from the ‘Body-Centred Self’, through the Mind-Centred, Soul-Centred to Spirit-Centred Self)

Who we are is not our role, nor is our ultimate calling – our vocation – to be equated with that role.  We are, firstly, called by God into a unique and deepening unitive relationship with the Self, the Other and with God, and this is the proper arena for Spiritual Direction.  Pastoral Supervision, on the other hand, is concerned with identifying the various movements that affect the ministry of the ordained person (or anyone who has become identified with their role) in order to see more clearly how the person can work from a place of greater freedom. 

Whilst there are overlaps between Spiritual Direction and Supervision each perform a different function.  For the purpose of this refection I will use the definition of Spiritual Direction as ‘help given by one Christian to another which enables that person to pay attention to God's personal communication to him or her, to respond to this personally communicating God, to grow in intimacy with this God, and to live out the consequences of the relationship’. (William A. Barry SJ and William J. Connelly SJ: The Practice of Spiritual Direction p.8).  Supervision, on the other hand, is ‘a regular, planned intentional and boundaried space in which a practitioner skilled in supervision (the supervisor) meets with one or more other practitioners (the supervisees) to look together at the supervisees’ practice which gives the supervisee freedom and safety to explore the issues arising in their work.  It is praxis based – focusing on a report of work and /or issues that arise in and from the supervisee’s pastoral practice and attentive to issues of fitness to practice, skill development, management of boundaries, professional identity and the impact of the work upon all concerned parties.  (Definition of Pastoral Supervision –The Association of Pastoral Supervisors and Educators – APSE)

SPIRITUAL DIRECTION 
Arguably Spiritual Direction is, therefore, more concerned with PROCESS than CONTENT.  Whilst both are important within Spiritual Direction it is, ultimately, the Process by which the Directee encounters God that is the focus of direction. As Barry and Connolly point out: ‘Growth in a relationship requires that I pay attention to the other person.  It also requires that I pay attention to what happens inside me when I am in the presence of the other and that I share my reactions with him. … Noticing these reactions is fundamental to growth in the spiritual life, and helping a person notice and communicate them is one of the most fundamental tasks of spiritual direction.’ (‘The Practice of Spiritual Direction’ p.65)  Here the word ‘process’ can be used in a number of ways. There is the process that occurs between director and directee; the process that occurs within the Directee; and that which occurs within the director.  But, primarily, it is the process that occurs within the Directee as they orientate themselves towards God.

So one way of understanding the PROCESS of Spiritual Direction, as someone has expressed it, is that of helping a person notice the movements and counter-movements of the Spirit – these are deeper than feelings and can be recognised as movements of ‘consolation’ (an increase in faith, hope and love) or ‘desolation’ (a decrease in faith, hope and love) heard in the Process.  CONTENT is, of course, important for it provides the context in which these ‘movements’ occur.  These will involve the story that is told – that has to unfold – which the Director needs to enable but not focus on nor seek to analyse, for this isn’t counselling.  But the PROCESS concerns how the director helps directee notice movements of consolation and desolation that lie beneath the content and which the director will gently encourage the directee to allow to emerge.  This Process is intended to enable the Directee to encounter the CORE PROCESS which concerns their desire for God, and God’s desire for them.  This aspect of the Process may be beyond words – biblical, or other images, might enable this movement as might physical movement – but is rooted in our deepest desire.*

In all this it’s important to adopt a contemplative rather than an analytical approach.  The encounter between God and the Directee is holy ground and the role of the Director is to listen deeply to the narrative (without getting bogged down in it) as it unfolds in order to elicit the ‘sweep’ and feeling of it; the subtle shifts, changes and movements.   In all this the Director is not seeking to solve a problem but to help someone get in touch with what’s happening at a deeper level – the level of their encounter with the Spirit – to help them notice what obstacles there may be and where God may be leading them. As Duane R. Bidwell wrote in Presence: the Journal of Spiritual Directors International  (Vol. 8. no.3. Oct. 2002) ‘A director might be expected to have knowledge about God and the spiritual journey, but cannot know precisely how to create spiritual growth or healing for a particular person or even know for certain what the directee is experiencing in a particular situation.  The director has expertise about the process of spiritual direction, but cannot claim special knowledge about the content of an individual’s relationship with God or what spiritual practices might lead to the growth people seek through spiritual direction.’

SUPERVISION

The vocation to priesthood (or clerical ministry) is, as anyone knows who is exercising such a calling, extremely demanding.  According to the Ordination of Priests, also called Presbyters (Church of England) the calling is to: ‘be servants and shepherds … to proclaim the word of the Lord and to watch for the signs of God's new creation. They are to be messengers, watchmen and stewards of the Lord; they are to teach and to admonish, to feed and provide for his family, to search for his children in the wilderness of this world's temptations, and to guide them through its confusions …. Formed by the word, they are to call their hearers to repentance and to declare in Christ's name the absolution and forgiveness of their sins…. they are to tell the story of God's love …. to baptize new disciples … and to walk with them in the way of Christ, nurturing them in the faith. They are to unfold the Scriptures, to preach the word in season and out of season, and to declare the mighty acts of God. They are to preside at the Lord's table and lead his people in worship, offering with them a spiritual sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving. They are to bless the people in God's name. They are to resist evil, support the weak, defend the poor, and intercede for all in need. They are to minister to the sick and prepare the dying for their death. Guided by the Spirit, they are to discern and foster the gifts of all God's people, that the whole Church may be built up in unity and faith.’

… and that’s just for starters!  But in none of this is there a mention of the pastoral needs of priests themselves.  It is clear that many clergy carry enormous burdens; the expectations on them, both external and internal, can mask deeper needs; personal relationships can become confused and boundaries blurred.  Indeed, for some clergy there are no boundaries.  Finally the role of a priest can overwhelm, not only the vocation to live out of their priestly calling but also their identity as a human being, called by God into relationship with Him.  Ultimately, we should not speak of a calling to ordained priesthood but, rather, of priesthood as a locus whereby a person is called to respond more freely to God.  The role of the spiritual direction of priests (and, by extension, anyone who is responding to a call to exercise pastoral ministry) therefore is to keep their eyes fixed on the God who is calling them to Himself through the ministry to which they were ordained.  Priesthood, like any other vocation within the Church, provides the context in which a person finds their freedom to seek God.  The danger comes when the context becomes the focus of the vocation.

Whilst this is particularly true of ordained ministers, everyone exercising pastoral ministry needs to step back and review the way they are responding to that context from time to time with someone who can offer an impartial overview.  But, amidst the pressures of ministry, personal pastoral care is often low-down, if not at the bottom, of the list and can seem yet another ‘thing that should be done’.  However, by ignoring pastoral care ministers are setting a bad example!  Formal supervision is a clear requirement in most secular, pastoral professions and no comparable professional walk of life leaves the requirement for self-care absolutely to its own personnel.  The ministry of Pastoral Supervision is intended to address this need: it is a means of being accountable to ourselves, to our vocation, to the Church through which that calling has been affirmed and to our God.  So what might this involve?

Firstly it should be noted that Supervision is not spiritual accompaniment, counselling or line-management, for reasons mentioned above.  Unlike mentoring, the purpose of which has a particular focus defined as ‘maximis(ing)the grace of God in the life of the mentee, through deepening their identity in Christ, developing them in Christlike character and integrating them more fully into the body of Christ.  To develop their potential in the service of God’s kingdom purposes through discerning more clearly God’s direction for their lives.’ (Diocese of Bath and Wells), the focus of Supervision is the pastoral needs of the individual.    It therefore compliments the ministry of spiritual direction, which is primarily concerned with the movement of God within the life of the directee. 

Pastoral Supervision, therefore, is about working with someone to gain an over-view from another view/perspective: to gain a better vision, extra vision, a further look.  It covers awareness of God, growth in insight and professionalism (good practice), space to safely explore feelings and to find encouragement and support.  The tasks of Pastoral Supervision have been described as: Contemplative (Awareness of God); Formative (Growth in Insight); Normative (Growth in professionalism or good practice); Restorative (Release and holding of feelings); Affirmative (Encouragement and support). 

CONCLUSION

The Spiritual Direction and Pastoral Supervision of priests are, in a sense, two sides of the same coin.  One side is primarily concerned with the personal vocation of the priest.  By keeping the focus of the person fixed into the process of their desire for God, the priest is enabled to realise afresh the One who calls them to Himself.  In order to do this, and, maybe, to move the individual from focussing their attention on the content of their ministry to the process whereby they realise the movement(s) of the Spirit, it can be helpful to invite the person to move from their head to their heart.  To reflect on images, symbols or dreams; to invite them to notice what is happening in their bodies or to use the imagination.  And to notice what is happening in our bodies as we sit with the person.  (Projective Identification – a psychological term first introduced by Melanie Klein in 1946 to describe what can happen when the client, closed to their feelings, projects onto the therapist who, in turn, ‘feels’ their feelings of which the client is unaware.).  All this calls for the Director to be in touch with their own interior movements as the story of the Directee unfolds.  Whilst the Director should not ignore the content of a Directees ministry (the Director must listen to the context – the unfolding story) they need to remember that it is not the focus which, ultimately, concerns the individual’s desire for God. 

Pastoral Supervision, on the other hand, has as its focus the content of the priest’s ministry – the context in which their vocation is exercised.  Both require reflective practise as those involved work with the content and process of the encounter. 

________________________________________

Give me a candle of the Spirit, O God,

as I go down into the depths of my being.

Show me the hidden things,

the creatures of forgotten memories and hurts.

Take me down into the spring of my life,

and tell me my nature and my name.

Give me freedom to grow,

so that I may become that self,

the seed of which you planted in me at my making.

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord.

Bishop George Appleton (1902 – 1993)

* Julie Dunstan (Encounter)

THE SOUL'S DESIRE

FIRST SUNDAY IN ADVENT (Yr. C)

Sermon preached in the Church of All Saints, New Eltham

at Parish Mass on Sunday, 2nd December, 2012

‘Be alert at all times,

praying that you may have the strength to escape all these things

that will take place, and to stand before the Son of Man.’ (Lk.21:36)

X

INTRODUCTION

Once again, we begin a new Christian Year with the season of Advent when we prepare for the coming of the Lord.  The somewhat ominous message of our gospel reading, in particular, is a salutary reminder that such preparation is more than making sure the cards are written and presents bought. 

Yet is the consequence of our praying ‘thy kingdom come’ really going to be like a divine disaster movie?  Is this what we really desire and long for: what my heart must be set on as we prepare for the coming of God?  No wonder it seems better to focus into more cuddly things – babies and mangers, Christmas trees and fairy lights.  As John Betjeman wrote in one of his poems:

And is it true?  For if it is,
No loving fingers tying strings
Around those tissued fripperies,
The sweet and silly Christmas things,
Bath salts and inexpensive scent
And hideous tie so kindly meant,

No love that in a family dwells,
No caroling in frosty air,
Nor all the steeple-shaking bells
Can with this single Truth compare—
That God was Man in Palestine
And lives today in Bread and Wine.

What needs to lie at the heart of our preparations for the coming of a God is the realisation that God desires to be at-one with us and expresses this every time He makes Himself present through the Eucharist.  The prayer of the ‘heart’s desire’ is to want to allow God into the depths of our being.  That’s the essence of prayer, something I want to share some thoughts about on two Sundays during Advent.  This morning I’ll focus into some of the more common aspects and next time explore what we mean by meditation and contemplation.

WHAT IS PRAYER?

Now, if you were to ask most people what they understood the word prayer to mean they would, probably, say ‘asking God for things’ or, with any luck they might add ‘and thanking God for things’, or even ‘listening to God’.  And all these things are aspects of prayer, for prayer concerns the ‘inclination of the heart to God’.  At its most simple prayer simply involves giving time and attention to the desire of the heart to be at one with God.  So let’s see how the Eucharist can help us re-imagine our prayer.

COMMON PRAYER – THE EUCHARIST

Common prayer, or the Liturgy – the work – of the Church, helps our relationship with God to develop.  We come to church and sing hymns, listen to readings, offer our intercessions and make our Communion in the Body and Blood of Christ.  Hopefully, through all this, we are moved into a deeper union with God.  The ‘heart’ of who we are (not the physical heart but the centre of our being) is re-fashioned as we open our inner being, our heart, to the desire of God for at-oneness with us. 

When I was learning the Faith I was taught that one should prepare to receive Holy Communion.  I was encouraged to remember my Communion throughout the week and spend time the night before preparing by prayer and fasting.  Then when I first entered a church I should pray – something with the passing of time it’s easy to forget.  Yet if we stopped to pray that would be a reminder we are called, before we attended to our jobs or our friend, to Love God with all our heart, mind and strength’.  And, remember, the essence of prayer is the inclination of the heart to God.  As one of my Franciscan brothers used to say: ‘Get it right with God first, brother!’  Coming to church wasn't to be like visiting Tesco:  this is the House of God and the Gate of Heaven and everything here is designed to move the heart towards God.  If we have the eyes to see. 

There’s a story about the late Orthodox Archbishop Anthony Bloom I’d like to share with you.  One day a young man, new to the church, asked Archbishop Anthony what books he would need when he came to the church.  Instead of giving him a copy of the service Anthony said this: ‘Come and let your eyes see us.  See how we worship.  Then, come and watch our faces.  After that, take a service book and learn the words you need to use by heart, but never bring it with you!’ 

Perhaps, as someone once remarked to me, we ‘westerners’ are too attached to our books…

COMMON PRAYER – THE DIVINE OFFICE

Another means of prayer that many find of great help is what is known as the Prayer of the Church or the Daily (or Divine) Office.  Priests have to pray the Office of Morning and Evening Prayer daily and others find some form of such prayer to be of great value.  Consisting mostly of psalms and readings, the Office is a simple way of praying with scripture.  And immersion in scripture helps form our prayer.  Whilst it may be helpful to do that in church, most do so at home or even on the train to work.  It’s a great way to begin the day as it means we are giving attention to Jesus’ primary command.  But whatever we do, we need to get into the habit of prayer in our daily lives. 

CONFESSION          

Right at the beginning of the Eucharist we are invited to confess our sins by making a General Confession.  Some realise this needs to be personalised and have developed a practice of regular Confession to a priest.  Now the Sacrament of Confession is often neglected in the Church of England, but it is something available to all for all of us sin and need to be reconciled with God and our neighbour. 

The Anglican dictum concerning this Sacrament is, ‘all may, none must; some should’ and many find that making their confession at regular intervals is of great help in developing a right relationship with God.

PRAYER AS INTERCESSION

Only later in the Eucharist do we come to prayer for others, that prayer we call Intercession. Yet for many this is the only prayer they practice.  ‘Please help Johnny!’; ‘Don’t let Mary suffer!’; ‘Help Peter pass his exams.’  These are more rightly called ‘arrow’ prayers – shooting an arrow of desire to God.  

Or we might make ‘ejaculatory’ prayers; prayer that suddenly arises from some moving experience which may be silent or, at times, spoken aloud. Both might be called involuntary prayers which emerge from movements within the heart.  But they are dependent on circumstances outside of ourselves. 

A RULE OF LIFE

And it’s for that reason another way people find help in putting their relationship with God at the centre is by developing what is known as a Rule of Life.  A Rule sets out the norms by which we are called to live.  So, apart from matters like a pattern of prayer and attendance at Mass, it will also act as a reminder of how we give attention to charitable giving, and how we feel called to serve others – not least our families, partners and friends.  And for people who are very busy it’s a good way of making sure we set aside time for ourselves!

SPIRITUAL DIRECTION

But all who are seeking to give attention to God recognise they need help and so the tradition of Spiritual Direction has developed since the earliest centuries.  Spiritual Direction is an on-going process whereby an individual, with the aid of a more experienced guide, explores a deeper relationship with themselves, the world around them and with God.  

IMAGES OF GOD AFFECT OUR PRAYER

But our image of God will affect the way in which we respond to our approach to prayer.  If our image of God is rooted in a distant father, or in one who was harsh with us whom we came to fear, or if we lacked love in our earliest years or have a poor sense of our own worth and value, that will affect our approach to God.  Thoughts of the coming of the Son of Man ‘in a cloud with power and great glory’ may then fill us with fear and anxiety.  Yet, if we embrace the image of His coming as the coming of our Divine Lover who seeks to re-make us in His image, then we can ‘stand up and raise ()our heads, because ()our redemption is drawing near.’ 

CONCLUSION

Next time I want to spend time reflecting on the place of meditation and contemplation in our life of prayer and there’s a leaflet inside the December magazine which, I hope, will be of help.  ‘When I prayed I was new’, wrote one great Orthodox guide, ‘and when I stopped praying I was old.’  ‘Prayer’ wrote another, is ‘the habit of being in the presence of the thrice-holy God and in communion with him, … the elevation of the soul to God.’ 

This matter of prayer is of fundamental importance to people of all faiths yet is daunting for many of us.  Yet it is as easy and as basic as breathing.  Rather than something to leave to ‘experts’, prayer is the very atmosphere in which we are called to live.  ‘For me’ wrote S. Therese of Lisieux, ‘prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.’  So may this Advent be a time when we pray and live the Eucharist – seeking reconciliation; centring on the Word of God; holding the world before Him; offering daily our sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving as we seek to venerate Christ beneath all outward things.  This is the Prayer of Eucharistic Living as we open our hearts to the One who seeks and desires us.    

Into the Wilderness

This matter of living with inner storms, uncertainties, questions and confusion continues to be the stuff of life.  Yesterday I saw my Spiritual Director and explored this to some depth.  I had already discovered two images that emerged and seem to offer a richness at this time – one is that of a chrysalis and the other of the Exodus.  Both hold a sense of being in a state of transition without the knowledge of what may lie ahead.  The chrysalis not knowing that it may turn into a butterfly and the journey of the Hebrew people in the wilderness offering no sense of a new life in the Promised Land.  There might be hints and guesses but no experience of what lies ahead.  Once again I am in the process of letting go of the past (which contains rich and important material for the future) and cannot ‘go back’.  I am aware of being drawn by certain deep feelings associated with particular experiences in the past and need to discover what they may still have to offer.  But there is a temptation to long to return to the experience and forget the greater value of what lay beneath them. 

The other image that emerged during my time with my Director was that of the Woman at the Well in John’s gospel and this seems to be equally important for it offers a way into that ‘spring of living water’ that lies in the heart of us all.  At present it is difficult to gaze far into the depths – the waters are too stirred by all the events connected with leaving the parish, moving home and emerging (that word again) from 35 and more years of having an external structure to shape, form and nurture my life and sense of calling.  And of moving away from community in both its specific (the Religious Life) and general form (being a parish priest) to life in partnership with another.  Transition indeed! 

What emerged yesterday was the importance of staying in the process, of giving time to opening myself to those depths in the presence of God who is both within and beyond them.  The ‘distractions’ that occur during times of prayer contain the gold that is hidden in the dross.  I realise the importance of staying with the process of refinement even though this feels like being in the fire.  The danger is to drift from distraction into a desolate place: the invitation is to stay in the Wilderness and have faith there is a Promised Land.

RELIGIOUS ABUSE

For some time I've been moved to the point of tears at the plight of adults who have survived abuse - physically, sexually or emotionally.  More recently I have found myself aware that there is another form of abuse which us rarely mentioned, and that is what has been called 'religious abuse'.  In its most extreme form it is evident in the way some - maybe many - churches condemn certain sexualities and demand adherence to certain codes of sexual behaviour in order for people to belong.  For those who are  not heterosexual this frequently results in a sense of shame, guilt, rejection, abandonment and a desperate desire to hide the truth of their sexuality from others - and from themselves. 

A number of groups exist to help 'survivors' of such abuse know they are not alone, and some survivors will turn to therapists to help them deal with the abuse they have suffered.  But there is one aspect that may not receive as much attention as it needs, and that is the relationship of such victims with God.

Assuming that those emerging from an abusive church still have any form of faith, how can they be helped?  Groups, for example, for gay and lesbian Christians are of great importance.  But it is the underlying relationship of the individual with God which requires attention, for unless this is addressed there is the potential for a 'fault-line'.  I can know that my sexuality is acceptable by others.  I might be drawn to a church which is open and accepting of me.  And I might find that a therapist can help me deal with the issues that have arisen because of the way my sexuality expresses itself.  But what help is there which can enable me to face that most profound of questions - does God really love me as I truly am?

I raise this, partly out of my work as a Spiritual Director and partly because I am not sure that this need for someone who can help me sort out my relationship with God has been acknowledged.  For, beneath all the help I may be offered this one question can remain: How has my understanding of God been affected as I emerge from this situation of abuse?

As a Spiritual Director it seems to me that those churches which purport to accept everyone, regardless of their sexuality, have a duty to face the need to address the abuse that goes on in the name of God and to help those who have been abused to find someone who will help them in their desire to be themselves before the God who made them and desires that they are fully the people they are created to be.