ABIDING IN SOLITUDE

In the late summer of 1975 Bill Kirkpatrick, later known as Br Aelred William N/SSF and then Fr Bill, began to test his vocation as a Franciscan at Hilfield Friary in Dorset, at that time the initial formation House of the Anglican Society of St Francis.  He had been born in Canada where, at the age of 18, he had worked with Fr Aelred Carlyle who had become Chaplain to the Nursing Home his mother ran. That Aelred had founded, in about 1895, the first Benedictine community for men in the Church of England and became Abbot of Caldey Island where they finally settled. But by the time they met Aelred had been released from his vows. Bill was a qualified nurse and, after ordination, had become Coordinator of the homeless charity, Centrepoint in Soho. At his novicing in 1976 Bill took the name of Aelred William – ‘Aelred’ after the great 12th c. Cistercian saint of Rievaulx whose classic work, On Spiritual Friendship, greatly appealed to him (and, possibly, connected him to Aelred Carlyle) whilst ‘William’ was not only his baptismal name but also the name of the founder of Glasshampton monastery (Fr. William Sirr SDC d.1937 – a contemplative whose life and spirituality many saw resembled that of St Charles de Foucauld. St Charles had inspired the Little Brothers and Sisters of Jesus whose charism would also influence Bill).  But he wasn’t destined for the Religious Life and, in 1978 left the Franciscans, settling in a small flat in Earls Court where he became an Honorary As­­sist­ant Curate at St Cuthbert’s, Phil­beach Gardens. From his flat he founded the ministry known as ‘Reaching Out’, a ‘hearing-through-listening’ service freely available to all. Bill described this as ‘a small cell of contemplative action within the Earls Court area … allowing for a ministry of sharing from within the sacredness of each other’s vulnerabilities and strengths where there is no ‘them’ and ‘us’. This ministry led to a vital yet to a large extent hidden ministry to the LGBT community in Earls Court, a ministry which helped shape his vocation and had its most profound effect when AIDS emerged in the 1980’s. Bill’s was a life of “being there” informed by Divine Compassion. 

In his book The Creativity of Listening Bill writes of the way he spent a month in 1975 with the RC Franciscans at San Damiano in Assisi and met, during the last two weeks of his stay, Raymond Lloyd.  ‘Raymond’s charismatic enthusiasm was infectious’ he wrote, ‘We laughed, sang, ran up and down hills and spent much time in prayer in the various chapels within the cathedral and  elsewhere in the area.’ In the same year that Bill left the Franciscans Raymond, another former nurse, would also go to test his vocation to the Franciscans. This description of the brief meeting of two souls who shared so much in common seems to illustrate a Principal of Franciscan life:

‘… the brothers and sisters, rejoicing in the Lord always (Phil 4.4) must show forth in their lives the grace and beauty of divine joy. They must remember that they follow the Son of Man, who came eating and drinking (Luke 7.34), who loved the birds and the flowers, who blessed little children, who was a friend of tax collectors and sinners (cf Mark 10.16), who sat at the tables alike of the rich and the poor. They will, therefore, put aside all gloom and moroseness, all undue aloofness from the common interests of people and delight in laughter and good fellowship. They will rejoice in God’s world and all its beauty and its living creatures, calling (nothing) profane or unclean. (Acts 10.28)

They will mingle freely with all kinds of people, seeking to banish sorrow and to bring good cheer into other lives. They will carry with them an inner secret of happiness and peace which all will feel, if they may not know its source.’ (Day 28)

They were not to meet again.

Raymond had grown up in the Welsh non-conformist tradition and had had a conversion experience when he was seven. He took part in many evangelistic missions and his utter love for Christ and the gospel drew him to pacifism. Later he became a Baptist pastor before being ordained as an Anglican priest before testing his vocation to the Franciscans. In 1979 Raymond was made a novice of the Society and took the name Ramon after the great 13th century Spanish Franciscan, Ramon Lull (or Llull). Lull had entered the Third Order of St Francis in 1263 shortly after a series of visions. Apart from probably writing the first major piece of literature in Catalan he also wrote mystical poetry and his greatest work was probably his ‘Book of the Lover and the Beloved’:

"Tell me, lover," said the beloved, "will you still be patient if I double your suffering?" "Yes, as long as you also double my love."

"If ye will have fire," the Lover cried, "O ye that love, come light your lanterns at my heart." This aphorism would have appealed to Ramon whose heart burned with a powerful love for God.

            I feel privileged to have known both men who, to me, mirror souls whose love of God is so powerful – or, perhaps I should say whose awareness of God’s love for them was so powerful – that it led each to a form of the solitary life. Not that either lived apart from others – Bill had his hermitage beneath a pavement in Earls Court Road in south west London where he would spend a significant period of time each morning in silent prayer, whilst most nights would be spent talking to people on the streets and bars of Earls Court. Ramon, on the other hand, never left the Franciscans but was permitted to spend long periods of time in a variety of hermitages in Dorset, North Wales and, finally, Glasshampton in Worcestershire. Yet what both experienced was the lure, the draw – the call – of silent, solitary contemplative prayer. Of that call Ramon wrote: ‘One of the most precious experiences of the time was to descend into the depths beyond my own individuality into a profound corporate sense of our common humanity with its pains and joys, and to find that the divine Love is in and through all, and will ultimately be manifested as ‘all in all.’ (Br. Ramon SSF, A Hidden Fire, Marshall Pickering, p.57). Bill, on the other hand, wrote profusely about the importance of listening in depth – of ‘being there’ for people and of the value of ‘co-creativity’.  That 'co-creativity' can only occur when the call of 'deep unto deep' is heard (Ps.42.7). As someone said: 'their disposition to allow God to pull them into their depths, in the grittiness of life without removing them from it, empowers them to be evermore immersed in human reality. Going beyond/below themselves and into that place where the Divine resides within, propels them into that fullness of life which exudes love, compassion and friendship to all.' (1)

            Bill and Ramon both found in Mother Mary Clare SLG ² a woman whose wisdom they valued and who helped to guide them forward in their eremitical ways. (*Mother Mary Clare had written about solitude and prayer (Encountering the Depths, SLG Press, 1993). 

            They were also informed by the writings of people such as Thomas Merton; Bill had a paper published by the Thomas Merton Society, A Contemplative in the City’ (date unknown) in which he says: As I pray within and before the mystery of God for the world and for all God’s people, I can identify with Thomas Merton when he writes, ‘I am talking about a special dimension of inner discipline and experience, a certain integrity and fullness of personal development which are not compatible with action, with creative work, with dedicated love. On the contrary, all these go together’³.  Merton’s influence on Ramon can be explored in his book Soul Friends – a Journey with Thomas Merton. ⁴
            Both also wrote a series of books which in different ways concern this ‘listening to the Other’ and which continue to speak to people. And whilst both had their own, small physical hermitages it is clear that it was the ‘cell of the heart’ that mattered to them –that place deep within them where they encountered the One they sought. It was also their struggle with solitude and prayer which truly united them in that inner place.

Ramon died in June 2000 and Bill in January 2018 although his ministry had been curtailed in 2007 after a serious breakdown.

            People like Bill and Ramon do not often appear in the life of the Church but those three decades, from 1978 to 2007, they shone for a brief time like stars in the firmament and, if the Church of England had a process for recognising saints, would be clear candidates. We poorer for their passing but enriched through their lives.

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¹  JMO’B

² Mother Mary Clare SLG:

'Our life proves the reality of our prayer, and prayer which is the fruit of true conversion is an activity, an adventure - and sometimes a dangerous one - because it brings neither peace nor comfort, but always challenge, conflict and new responsibility.  We must try to understand the meaning of the age in which we are called to bear witness. We must accept the fact that this is an age in which the cloth is being unwoven. It is therefore no good trying to patch. We must, rather, set up the loom on which coming generations may weave new cloth according to the pattern God provides. We must learn to wait upon the Spirit of God. As he moves us, we are led into deeper purgation, drawn to greater self-sacrifice, and we come to know in the end the stillness, the awful stillness, in which we see the world from the height of Calvary.’ 

³  Merton, T. 1971, Contemplation in a World of Action, London, George Allen and Unwin.

⁴  Br Ramon SSF, Soul Friends – a Journey with Thomas Merton, Marshall Pickering, 1989

MEMORIES OF HILFIELD FRIARY

1976 - 1978                

I arrived at the Friary on the Feast of the Holy Cross, September 14th, and was one of three admitted as a Postulant on September 15^th by the Guardian, Br. Jonathan – another was Stanley who had worshiped at the same church as me - All Saints, Margaret Street in London.  There were others, including Keith Mitchell (Crispin), North Kerr, Peter (Peter Douglas), Gregory and Richard Hodgson, who had been admitted previously and we joined Fr. Bill Kirkpatirck (Aelred), Kevin Terry (Albert) and Graham who were also Postulants.  In all we numbered 15 – the highest ever number in the history of SSF!  There were so many of us that some had to live in Bernard House (where my daily Household Chore was to pump the cushions and arrange the flowers as there weren’t enough tasks for us all).  My first job was to collect manure, under the direction of Br. Giles, from Church Farm, where Keith MacDonald had a job, and take it to the Friary.  Eventually, due to the size of the Postulancy, some moved to Alnmouth Friary with Br. Rufus, who was then Assistant Novice Guardian, and Br. Keith came to look after the remainder of us who were then able to live together in Juniper House which became the Formation House once more.

At this time the Brothers would attend Evensong each month at a different local church on Sundays.  We had a particular connection with Cerne Abbas parish church whose priest, Fr. Harold Best, presided at the Friary Eucharist most weeks.  One resident of the village had been closely involved with the Franciscans in Africa and lived with her companion in a cottage in the village.  Both were early members of the Third Order and are are now buried at the Friary. 

In April 1977 twelve of us were admitted to the Novitiate by the Provincial, Br. Michael SSF, and I took the name of John-Francis.  During Lent the Novices were involved in giving short homilies at Holy Trinity, Weymouth as part of our training.  Br. Keith was responsible for our efforts.  That Spring, Paschal Worton and Philip Bartholomew were admitted as Postulants. 

At that time, and for many years afterwards, brothers  were constantly going on Mission.  In March 1978 Br. Damian sent me to preach the Lent ‘Mission’ to Ardingly College (we were used a lot by the Woodard Corporation) and in April I moved to Glasshampton to begin my six month stay.  This was also the time when many Public Schools (eg. Millfield, Sherborne, etc…) sent groups of pupils for days at the Friary with some occasionally staying for a few days and I have memories of the scores of boys from Sherborne School lining up0 to make their pre-Confirmation confession - every priest-Brother was on duty!

1982 – 1988

I returned to live at the Friary in December 1982.  I became Kitchen Brother and slept in room in Francis House to ‘look after’ Br. Kenneth.  Eventually I was given a room in Clare House  to use during the day.  Benedict was Guest Brother and there were Seven Postulants.

We continued to provide brothers for the very many Parish and School Missions which the Society ran, as well as leading Holy Week in parishes around the country.  For most of my time at Hilfield I, along with others, hitched to and from wherever we needed to travel and I often journeyed to and from London in this fashion, often getting an initial lift to Sherborne (or, if I was lucky, Wincanton) but I sometimes would see if I could hitch a lift from a (occasional) car that drove past the Friary.  

I also became involved with Dorchester CND and began to get to know some of the members.  Bernard was a member of General Synod and was keen to enable the community to explore new ways of evangelism.  Fr. John Townroe made regular visits to the Friary as our external confessor/spiritual director and I, along with others, found his wisdom and insight of great help.  The ‘new’ Carceri (hermitage) was a place where I, along with others, retreated to on a regular basis for solitude, reflection and prayer.

At some point  Br. Bernard appointed me as Guest Brother.  On February 2^nd, 1982 BBC Newsnight come to the Friary to interview Bernard on the then radical Church of England Report, ‘The Church and the Bomb’ and two weeks later Paul Alexander ran a ‘Drama Weekend’  – brothers involved in learning dramatic presentations of the Gospel.  Later that summer a group of us arranged to perform the ‘Parable of the Good Punk Rocker’ in the grounds of Sherborne Abbey.  Not sure what impact this had on the town, but it helped some of us loose some of our inhibitions!

That Lent I made a Lent Visit to St. John’s School, Leatherhead, took part in a Teaching Week in Hackney - and joined the Dorchester CND protest visit to Upper Hayford USAF base.  In October Br. Ramon led a major ‘Mission to Wales’ based at Brecon Cathedral with Br. Silyn SSF and Fr. Aiden Mayoss CR.

During the next few years Paschal and I helped to organise the Sunday School at S. Nicholas’ Church, Hilfield and, along with others, led services and preached there and at Batcombe.

                               

A Provincial Chapter around this time asked communities to explore their mission within the local community.  My involvement with the Dorchester CND Group led me to talk with them about what they might want the friary to offer to the community.  From these talks it emerged that there was a real desire to have a place where wider social issues could be explored and so I began to organise meetings with different social themes under the general title of ‘JustPeace’.  On one occasion Bp. Bill Lash talked about interfaith issues and his involvement with Gandhi in India in the 1930’s; we had a dialogue with Buddhist monks from their community near Totnes.  And, perhaps most notably, the Second Secretary from the Embassy of the USSR came to talk about ‘East Meets West’ – a visit which provoked another visit – from the Special Branch.  Some of us were deeply surprised by his open criticism of communism and stating that the system needed to change.  All this just before the concepts of Perestroika and Glasnost had emerged.  Br. Anselm had also asked me to get involved with the RC ‘Justice and Peace Links Group for Religious’ and, from my initial contact, I tried to encourage other Anglican Communities to join, which some did.

It was in 1985 that I looked to engage young people with spirituality and wanted to find a way for them to experience the insights of Ignatian Spirituality (Bernard had arranged for an 8 Day Ignatian Retreat to be offered each year for members of SSF at the Friary).  I learnt of the work being done by the De La Salle Brothers at Kintbury, Berks and arranged  to attend youth ‘retreats’ with them to discover more about their work.  From these experiences I sought to use the insights gained in developing youth spirituality at the Friary and elsewhere.  On May 18^th I led our first ‘Youth Day’ for local parishes at the Friary but I’m not sure how enthusiastic Br. Bernard was for these to continue –  I think there may have been one more!

In 1986 I led Holy Week at S. Disen’s, Bradninch, Devon and, consequently, a group of young people began to attend the Hilfield Youth Camp each year.  I also led a Mission to Bristol University and St. Paul's and one to West Meon with Br. Vincent SSF and Sr. Jeanette CSF.  In September I led the Mission to St. Mary’s, Brynmawr, South Wales with Sr. Alison Mary CSF.

Bernard had become interested in the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator (MBTI) and, in 1987, arranged an MBTI weekend at the Friary.  In September I led the Mission to St. Paul's. Honiton with Br. Thomas N/SSF, Ann Lewin and then a Mission to St. Peter’s, Maybush with Sr. Alison CSF, Brs. LukeN/SSF (John Phillips) and Ann Lewin.  I also assisted on the Coventry Diocesan Youth Holiday in Devon.

In 1988 a ‘Middle Group’ (middle-aged Professed) began at Hilfield.  That same year Bernard’s interest in the Base Christian (Ecclesial) Community movement in UK led to some of us attending annual weekends with the three Religious who USPG brought over to develop this form of evangelisation in the UK.  Br. Anselm (at that time the Provincial) invited Br. Paschal and I to become Vocations Adviser for SSF but in March 1989 I was moved to Birmingham. 

1994 - 1999

In July 1994 I returned to the Friary as Assistant Novice Guardian.  I continued to preach at various Public Schools including Bedales, Haberdashers’ Aske’s etc…  Br. Peter had been appointed Novice Guardian and was keen to re-develop the Novice formation programme.  He and I worked on a three-year model that began with a year at Hilfield followed by six months at Glasshampton and then 18 months in an inner-City House before First Profession.  Aspirants would be welcomed to Hilfield only in September and from then on the three year Programme would begin.  It was also during this time that Bernard (I think) drew together a group of brothers and sisters who had been involved with Ignatian IGR’s to reflect on the essentials of Franciscan Spirituality and, consequently, we developed a specific model.

After the death of my parents I had begun to develop an interest in the Holy Land and Egypt and organised a number of pilgrimages, for adults and young people, to both countries and, as a result, in October 1996 HG Metropolitan Athanasius of the Diocese of Beni Suef came to stay at the Friary.

In 1997 I was appointed Assistant Guardian at the Friary and at the Pentecost Chapter, after Br. Peter left, Novice Guardian.  I continued to implement the new Novice Formation Programme as well as leading Missions and a second Young Adult Visit to Egypt and Holy Land. 

In 1998 and 1999 there were further Pilgrimages to the Holy Land and Egypt, but in that year I was appointed General Secretary SSF, a role that took me to Australia for the General Chapter for four weeks in September.  However, in August I moved to Plaistow and thus ended my life at Hilfield Friary.

SISTER DEATH – Br. Damian SSF

The following is from‘What do you Seek?’, a commentary for novices of the Society of S. Francis on the Franciscan way of life by Damian and was  read at the Requiem Mass at the Internment of his ashes at Hilfield Friary, March 11th, 2016:

Our feelings about death may not be clearly defined.  We may have theological ideas; we may have a strong or vague belief ‘in heaven’; we may have tried to calculate some sort of progress-chart towards our own final resting place.  But death and its consequences can remain just a theory until it hits us deeply; a parent dies or someone very close to us.  We may apply a reasoned argument that this death mercifully brought to an end a life of pain and suffering, but sooner or later death will strike us, as the Bible suggests, like an ‘enemy’ (I Cor. 15:26).  It pierces to the depth of our being.  If death is ‘swallowed up in victory’ (I Cor. 15:54) we may still have to struggle before we can appreciate the message.

Bereavement is our encounter with death – in our lives so far – though in the end death will not be about our theories, our theologies or our close encounters.  It will be about ourselves submitting to the One who is both intimate to us and yet also beyond our mortal experience.  It will be about laying down my body, about letting go of my mind, so that the real ‘me’ may make its ultimate journey in trust towards my Maker, in company with my Redeemer and empowered by the Spirit whose presence I have known over the years.

That journey will be mine at some future point.  We do well to prepare for that moment so that our natural fears may be overtaken by a complete trust in God, and our souls may attain the fulfilment of our restless longing.  Then we shall welcome Sister Death as a new birth.

            ‘Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you.

            Blessed are you among women,

            and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.

            Holy Mary, Mother of God,

pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death.’

We are citizens of heaven, and from heaven we expect our Deliverer to come, the Lord Jesus Christ.  He will transfigure our humble bodies and give them a form like that of his own glorious body.  (Phil. 3: 20-21)